her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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