Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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