Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
