sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
