The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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