working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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