Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
