That's intense
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
