2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
