She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
