Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
