Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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