Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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