i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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