how can u be prego again
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
