Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
