NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
