last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
