Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
