I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And then he peed in my hair
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
