I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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