it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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