I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
