We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
