Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
