For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
