What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
