Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
