Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
