Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
