I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
