In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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