I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
