Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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