well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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