I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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