you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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