I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
