i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
