my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
