I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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