ugly people sure do ruin things
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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