Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
