Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
