Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
