I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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