Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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