Sober January is a disaster.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
