that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
