Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Randomize
